What Is Gender?

Ages 3-5 Simple Explanation

You know how some kids say 'I am a boy' and some kids say 'I am a girl'? That feeling inside about who you are is called gender. It is your own sense of whether you are a boy or a girl.

Most of the time, how you feel on the inside matches what grown-ups said when you were born. But sometimes a kid feels different on the inside than what people expected. That is okay too. What matters most is that every person gets to be who they really are.

Boys and girls can like all the same things. Boys can like pink and dancing. Girls can like trucks and dirt. What you like does not change who you are -- it just means everybody is different.

The most important thing is that every person deserves to be treated with kindness, no matter who they are. Being nice to everyone is always the right thing to do.

Ages 6-8 More Detail

Gender is a word for how a person feels on the inside about being a boy, a girl, or something else. Most people feel like the gender that matches the body they were born with, but not everyone does.

When a baby is born, a doctor looks at the baby's body and says 'It is a boy' or 'It is a girl.' Most of the time, as that child grows up, they feel like that matches who they are inside. But sometimes a child grows up and feels like the label they were given does not fit. A child who was called a boy might feel like a girl inside, or the other way around.

People who feel like their inside sense of gender does not match what they were called at birth are sometimes called transgender. People whose inside feeling matches what they were called at birth are sometimes called cisgender. Both are normal ways of being human.

Gender is different from what you like or how you act. A boy who likes ballet is still a boy if that is how he feels inside. A girl who loves football is still a girl if that is how she feels. What you enjoy does not determine your gender -- your inner sense of who you are does.

Some people feel like they are not totally a boy or totally a girl, and that is okay too. People experience gender in different ways, and there is no single right way to be.

The most important thing is to treat everyone with respect. If someone tells you who they are, believe them. Use the name and words they ask you to use. Being kind costs nothing and means everything.

Ages 9-12 Full Explanation

Gender is a person's deep, internal sense of who they are -- whether they feel like a boy, a girl, both, neither, or somewhere in between. It is one of those topics that has become really talked about in recent years, and it can seem confusing if no one has explained it clearly. So here is a straightforward breakdown.

When you were born, a doctor looked at your body and assigned you male or female. That is your biological sex, and it is based on physical characteristics. Gender is related but different -- it is about your inner sense of self. For most people, their gender and their biological sex line up perfectly. They were called a boy at birth and feel like a boy, or they were called a girl and feel like a girl. When that is the case, the term is cisgender.

For some people, their inner sense of gender does not match what they were assigned at birth. A person might have been called a boy but deeply feel that they are a girl, or the other way around. These people are transgender. This is not a new thing -- transgender people have existed in cultures all around the world throughout history. What is new is that people are talking about it more openly.

Some people feel that neither 'boy' nor 'girl' fully describes them. They might identify as nonbinary, meaning they feel like they fall somewhere outside of just those two options. Different people experience and express this in different ways.

Gender is also different from gender expression -- which is how you present yourself to the world through clothing, hairstyle, and behavior. A boy can wear nail polish without that changing his gender. A girl can have short hair and play football without that making her less of a girl. What you like and how you dress is about expression; gender is about that deeper sense of who you are.

Here is the bottom line: how someone experiences their gender is personal and real to them. You do not have to fully understand someone's experience to treat them with respect. If a classmate tells you their name or asks you to use certain words to refer to them, the kind thing to do is listen. Being respectful does not require you to have all the answers -- it just requires basic decency.